we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can i not drive my cunt home
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
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