I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
