My room smells like vodka and shame
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
barbara walters just said penis...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
