Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
