No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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