Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
