the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
