If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
