today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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