We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
