I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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