Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
my poor anus
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
