I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
