I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm just crazy horny about you
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
