Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
