in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
