Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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