Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize