Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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