Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
