Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
