and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
