if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize