sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
