i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
