So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
