So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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