so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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