Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
