the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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