drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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