"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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