i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize