I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize