sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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