what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
