I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
