guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
