I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
