I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
