she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
