He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
