stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
