yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
