Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
