U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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