She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
