I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
