the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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