when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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