I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
