You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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