I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
