I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Randomize
