that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She bit a glass in half.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
They are going to name an STD after you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
