there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
