it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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