first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize