dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
