I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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