Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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