the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
