You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize