so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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